From the time we are born we all begin to communicate with people around us. For a young child this task comes untroubled as the only concerns for the child is its own. As we graduate into adulthood and experience life’s interactions through communications with others, we come to realize that there is more to communicating then just our own concerns. Communication can be expressed in many layers like an onion. On the outer most portion you find what makes up communication as a whole, but as we dig deeper we can begin to understand what qualities a good communicator must practice to clearly state their thoughts.

When communicating with someone one of the most important qualities one must practice is making proper eye contact during conversation. Eye contact is a vital quality that is important to express ones interest. A lack of eye contact can be seen as a barrier between individuals when trying to communicate.  A good communicator can keep their audience interested by maintaining proper eye contact. In return a good listener can show their interest by also maintaining the proper eye contact while listening. This allows each party to observe the others reactions during said conversations. If either party does not maintain proper eye contact one or both of the parties will loose interest in the conversation and possibly not feel able to continue to communicate.

An unknown downfall many people have when communicating is that most everyone can talk and transmit information to another person, but not everyone can listen to what is being transmitted. Some people spend their entire lives practicing to becoming a good listener, but most have not yet mastered – just stopping for a moment and really honing in on what others around them are saying. Along with listening the person must be open to hear what is being transmitted. An openness and acceptance of other people’s conversation will be the starting point for every good listener. Really listening to what people say can open an individuals mind to many possibilities they might not have come across otherwise.

Abilities of a good communicator do not come easy. Each person deals with the struggles of engaging in a conversation that they may not be interested in. Such problems arise when a communicator is not well rounded with education, culture, family and society. Being grounded in each of these areas can promote great communication. Not only will a person be able to carry a conversation, but they can also provide feedback in the conversation, which is a fundamental aspect of communication. Having knowledge in different areas promotes communication between people and can make a conversation meaningful.

Each layer of the onion unfolds different strengths in communication. Being able to make eye contact with the speaker and your audience promotes a great bond. A bond can be built even stronger when the individuals are attentive and listening to each other. Once you begin listening you may often find that you will unfold many more layers by uncovering new in people. I believe if you can obtain just a few of the “layers” in good communication qualities that you can have many great conversations.

Throughout my life I have been faced with many obstacles that has dictated what I was going to do with my life. As a child we all want to be someone famous, a super hero and a doctor; but as life sets in we begin to realize that the most exciting part about growing up is that you do not always know what you are going to do until it hits you smack on the head. Throughout life you play the cards you’re dealt, and finally once you can take a step back from reality you can come to a realization of what really is your set dreams.

As a young child I can remember vividly trying on my mothers clothes. High heels that were too big, dresses that hung way too low, and red lipsticks smeared across my face. I would imagine that I was going to be a movie star, walking the red carpet. In high school I joined the theatre class to see if my hard work as a child would pay off.  My first performance was magical. After that night I thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, I could be that movie star walking down the red carpet.

As high school theatre continued I studied hard for all of my performance. I thought at this time I would get my education and go on to film school. At the age of 17 obstacles faced me when problems at my mother’s house had me moved 80 miles away to my father’s house. Moving in with my father was a start of rebellion. Living with him required me to be under intense stress from dictatorship and as a teenager I found myself getting into more trouble than anyone could imagine. I stayed up late, stop studying for school, hung out with older guys and thought my knowledge was the ONLY thing valid in this world. I managed to graduate high school and immediately moved out of my father’s house to venture out on my own.

Just like I was told, life was not easy living away from the parental nest. At this point I had no clue what I would spend my life doing. I lived day by day and I quickly learned that this was an unrealistic lifestyle. In May of 2006 I was faced with another obstacle. I was pulled over by Newport Beach police department and was arrested for Driving under the influence of alcohol. I had reached an all time low. I had been without schooling for almost 4 years, I had two dead end jobs, and my parents didn’t want to offer much support at this point. Both of them are educated with college degrees and hold great professions. Together they could offer me wisdom and knowledge that would be the stepping stones for my future. First and foremost I had to find a way to pay off my old lifestyles. Once this was done I needed to attend school and decide what I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing.

I joined RCC in 2009 with the hopes of obtaining my nursing credentials. I am currently enrolled in four classes to fulfill my pre-requisites to continue on to the Riverside Nursing Program. I have chosen the path of going to a community college because after all of my expensive life I am left with little financial help from anyone other than my own pockets. Most of the classes I am currently enrolled in probably would not be classes I would take without the nursing program. I am horrible at math and placed into Math 52. My teacher seems very nice, but very hard to understand and does not seem to be “teaching” the material, rather explaining what is in the book. My Speech 9 class will soon become my favorite class. We spend all of class talking and I am assuming to get an A in this class because talking comes second nature to me. Once I complete these classes I have about a year left at RCC before I move on to the Nursing program.

What my future holds is still unknown. I would hope that the obstacles I have been faced with would have been the most difficult ones I overcame. I look forward to completing my schooling, going on to the nursing program, and spending my life helping people with their obstacles. I hope that my stories will be advice I can pass on to my children that will help them to better understand that obstacles will always face us, but it is our decisions we make after them that shape us as individuals. I plan to surround my family with people who show positive feedback from our community and have similar thoughts as my husband and I.

The cards I have been dealt could have resulted in better plays, but I chose the path I am on today.  I am finally able to play my cards effectively. I have faced obstacles that have finally hit me in the head and shown me what my life will hold. I have always had my parents for inspiration but chose not to listen until way later in life. I have finally been able to step back and see that I was always destined to be a nurse. Each obstacle I was faced with only set me back, but would never be able to hold me from finally realizing me dreams.

Hard work, balance, faith, honesty, integrity, laws of giving and receiving, you can only change the future… Everything is exactly as it is supposed to be at the moment. Do not fear the uncertainties of life – however thrive on solutions. There are always solutions. You just need to be open to them and allow them to come to you. Allow what you want into your life, desire to be the best. Do not focus on things you cannot change; however be cognitive and aware one hundred percent of the time in all that you do. Do not be afraid to speak your mind and trust in yourself and your instincts. Be tactfully aggressive in getting and doing what you need to succeed.

Don’t judge others as you will only create judgment for yourself. Allow time to let uncomfortable situations wash away. You can’t make everyone happy always. Always focus on the positive side of things. Remember to always be alert and attentive, punctual and cognitive. Think before you speak and always have a clear and concise train of thought at hand. Never over think to the point of silence. Be willing to fall but always make sure that you are falling forward. Trust and motivate yourself regardless of how others are treating you. We all have bad days just make sure a bad day doesn’t happen because you could have done something better. Be rested at night and watch out for your vices and you will be just fine.

Infatuation is instant desire – one set of glands calling to another. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine to closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you – to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know he is yours and you can wait.

Infatuation says, “We must get married right away. I can’t risk losing him.” Love says, “Be patient. Don’t panic. Plan your future with confidence.”

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together you hope it will end in intimacy. Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship that makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he’s away, you wonder if he is cheating. Sometimes you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels your trust, and it makes him even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before.

I’ve been awake for a while now
You got me feeling like a child now
‘Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

It starts in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I going to say
When you make me feel this way
I just mmmmm

And it starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I’ve been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
‘Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I’m comfortable enough to feel your warmth

And it starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feeling shows
’cause you make me smile baby
Just take your time now
Holdin’ me tight

Wherever wherever wherever you go
Wherever wherever wherever you go

wherever you go
I always know
‘Cause you make me smile
Even just for a while

He also said to forgive 7 times 70

Easy for Him to say

He was God

Or at least the son of God

How do I get to the place

Where I forgive those

Who disrespect me and malign me

Those who could care less about my feelings

Yet I still care about theirs

Why is forgiveness so hard

Why does it take so much out of you

Why is it easier to hold on to a grudge

Rather than to let it go

Am I doing something wrong

If it is true that we are to love others

As we love ourselves

And we stay mad at ourselves

For our misdeeds and misdoing

Is it realistic to easily forgive someone

If you extend the olive branch

Of friendship and kindness and forgiveness

And it is not returned

Should you really keep trying

Even if you feel it is a lost cause

Or will persistence win the day

With the honesty and sincerity of words

Be recognized and acknowledged

Followed by a reasonable attempt

To let bygones be bygones

Is this one of the famous battles

Between head and heart

With both having opposing views

But the same hold on your psyche

Neither winning, neither losing

Sometimes I wonder

If our lack of ability to forgive

Is truly more rooted in our

Bruised ego and hurt feelings

Perhaps the pain we feel is comforting

If I were to release my anger and my pain

Only to be knocked again

Who becomes the bigger fool

Me for trying

Or them for doing

I wish that such matters were as easy

As a game of tic-tac-toe

Or perhaps it is

Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose

Neither happens if you don’t take a chance

So I resolve to forgive

To be the bigger and better person

Give of myself as I would want others

To give to me

And perhaps this time everyone will win.